Don’t Be That New Dad Who Doesn’t Know How to Help Mom
You have plenty of ways to step up and make life better for your partner and baby
Some new fathers are clueless about how much work taking care of a baby involves. There are still some men out there who think mom should do everything.
In many homes, men don’t help with chores like cooking, laundry, dishes, and cleaning. There could be arrangements where one person always handles certain things. That’s not a good way to run a house. What if something happens to one person and things fall apart?
The first three months of a child’s life can be tough on dad. Mom already had 9 months to build a bond. It’s hard to build a bond with newborns when most of what they do is eat, sleep, cry, and fill diapers. Many fathers don’t get as much time off after birth as moms to build a bond. Breastfeeding is another way moms connect to their newborn and biology excludes dad.
This doesn’t mean dads get a free pass. We aren’t in the 1950s anymore. If you get worried about not having enough to do or what to do when your baby comes home, stop right now. You are about to embark on the biggest journey of chores of your life. There’s always something that needs to get done in the house if you aren’t helping with the baby.
Take ownership of every household task you can. If you don’t know how to fold the towels exactly how mom likes them, learn now. Don’t know how to cook or do the groceries? Get a subscription to a service like Hello Fresh to help with meals. That’s how I learned to cook. Always do the dishes. Change diapers at every opportunity and learn how to put your baby to bed when mom needs sleep.
If mom is home with the baby all day, she will feel exhausted when you get home from work. She’s going to want help and may expect you to take over with the baby right when you walk in the door to give her a break. One of the most important skills to learn is how to switch from work to dad/husband mode when you leave work.
The most important thing you can offer mom after she gives birth is emotional support. There’s a chance she gets baby blues or post-partum depression. Learn the signs and how to help or get help if necessary. Breastfeeding is one of the hardest things for mom and is an area where you need to learn the best ways to support her. It can be frustrating and she will need words of affirmation and encouragement.
Despite the fatherhood crisis in America, dads who are in the home are more involved than ever before. It’s expected and accepted that dad takes an active role from the beginning. You will build a better bond with your family with the more responsibility you take. Find out what you can do to help mom and own those responsibilities to make your home a better place.