Why Paternity Leave Could Be One of the Most Difficult and Rewarding Experiences You Have
Being a stay-at-home dad with a newborn is probably harder than your remote working position
Stay-at-home parents don’t get enough credit for their hard work and few people realize what goes into it. Men who don’t have a clue about what it takes think it’s a cushy job and joke about how easy it would be for them. You are responsible for your child’s well-being and for keeping the home functioning on leave. Men who don’t do chores and never have cared for a child underestimate how hard and exhausting it can get.
It’s a job that can go 24-7 depending on the ages of your kids. New babies need your attention every hour of every day and aren’t afraid to let you know if you are slacking! You will be much more tired caring for your newborn for 8 hours than from most white-collar jobs. Your newborn child that won’t stop crying can be much more stressful than a difficult customer or employee, especially if you don’t know why they won’t stop.
Paternity leave can be challenging for fathers because we aren’t natural nurturers like moms and it puts us in a situation that requires it all the time. It’s great for dads because it forces them to develop new skill sets that enable them to take better care of their kids which improves teamwork in parenting. It lets men feel a greater sense of accomplishment outside of a job because they are winning for their families.
Few things are more rewarding than seeing your child grow, develop, and do things for the first time. You are 100% in the game to help them reach milestones and get a front-row seat when they happen. It’s a feeling of deep satisfaction knowing you helped your child roll over or crawl for the first time. You know you are helping them develop every time you sit and read to them. The results are hardly immediate, but you know they pay off in time.
One of the toughest things to deal with or accept is the rough days on leave. Not every day is going to go well or be smooth. You think you get a plan for the day and it can get blown up right away. There will be inexplicable meltdowns, your baby will refuse to sleep to give you a break, constant fussiness, neither of you could feel well, or you could get burnt out. It’s important to remember your baby can’t control those feelings or actions because she’s a baby, and what happens may not be your fault.
Paternity leave could be one of the most challenging and rewarding things you do. It will test and grow your patience, you will form a close bond with your baby, and make you feel the importance of your role as a father right away. I took my leave after she was a few months old so I got her at a time when I could interact with her in more substantive ways. It won’t be the easiest time away from work, but it will be your most important.